Talking turkey.

Near death experiences can change people in many profound, diverse and odd ways. Only quite recently a very dear American friend who was a rather good professional golfer had a most unpleasent such incident. Whilst preparing to tee off at the ninth hole of Los Angeles country club he went into cadiac arrest. Fortunately he was playing with a Doctor at the time and CPR was successfully carried out. He was brought back to life after being dead for nearly 2 minutes.

After many weeks of recovery in a cardiac care unit he returned home. I visited him and invited him to come Turkey shooting with me in Nebraska. I thought it the ideal relaxation and recouperation for a man of his fragile and delicate health.
My friend had up until his illness been a wildly out spoken, deeply bigoted and opinionated man. I now found him taciturn and withdrawn. A shadow of his former self. We embarked on our hunting and I could tell his heart and soul were not in it.
I took aim at a large turkey, only to have the barrel of my rifle yanked from my hands by my irate friend.
He was inflamed with anger and chastised me for attempting to kill one of gods creatures. He went on to say that he could now talk to the birds and the turkey was demanding that I did not shoot it !
I was taken aback by my friends insnity. He said that his near death experience had given him the power to communicate with birds and he intended to devote his life to saving his feathery pals from murdering scum like myself.
He ran into the scrub, making chirping sounds as he went.
That was the last I ever saw of him. To my knowledge he is still out there somewhere, living rough and talking to the birds.

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One nil to Lord Dimblem !