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Lord Dimblem

Joined: 29 Dec 2009 Posts: 120 Location: Dimblem Manor, Devon |
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Alpha male. |
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It is the object of every gentleman to be the alpha male of any social gathering or situation. To be the one person who demands and recieves all the attention and who monopolises any conversation. The dominanant natural leader who by the power of his own personality bends the will of others and exerts his own opinions on lesser intellects.
I of course naturally assume this position wherever I go.
Hunting trips, shooting parties or safaries are no different to any other social gathering. It is essential that I quickly assume the role of leader and therefore gain all the attention and influence. Any opposition to my authority and status must be snuffed out as soon as is possible !
I recall a hunting weekend in Dakota many years ago when I failed to prevent a New York Butcher from taking over my role as alpha male. This loud offensive dullard was gaining all the attention with his amusing anecdotes and was making me appear foolish with his barbed wittisisms and jibes. I could gain no influence and appeared dull and boring in his shadow.
It was vital that I put a stop to this rotter and foe. That night as we slept around the camp fire I crept over to his sleeping form and gently squeezed some Lidocaine (a powerful local anaescetic) into the eyes and mouth on the of his left side of his face.
In the morning when my New York Butcher awoke he could not move his mouth to speak and could not open his left eye.
The clot was petrified and believed he had suffered a severe stroke. He was rushed away to hospital.
With my opposition gone it was now clear for me to assume my natural role as top dog in this environment. The hunting weekend was transformed from being an unenjoyable hum drum event into me being at my most socially sparkling and effevescent.
An unparrallelled success !
_________________ One nil to Lord Dimblem ! |
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| Thu Apr 22, 2010 1:45 am |
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