Derailed by Diarrheoa !

I will be quite candid and honest with you. I am an unashamed ladies man ! I love the thrill of the chase and the final hard won victory of making love to a beautiful young filly. I simply adore women and no day is complete without a sexual conquest.
Females of all races, shapes, sizes, colours and social and intellectual abilities have fallen for my smooth urbane charm and wit.
Yielding to my romantic charms and submitting to my skilled and fluent love making. Resistance is futile, my sexual prowess is the thing of envy and legend.
Nothing nor anyone can stop me when I set my mind on a particular lovely lady ! I will bed the object of my desires !

Several years ago I was invited for a hunting weekend in the Lake District by a very dear old school pal of mine. Upon arriving at his mansion I was delighted to discover he had aquired a rather charming new wife. I decided there and then that I would woo his new wife and have my wicked way with her by the end of the day !
The best way to seduce the wife and fulfill my sexual needs was to dispose of the husband. This I achieved very easily by spiking his lunch time gin and tonic with both a powerful laxitive and sedative. Within minutes the hapless buffoon was suffering from a most unpleasent and volatile attack of painful diarrheoa. He lurched to the toilet in agony where he succumbed to the bottom wretching torment of highly unstable diarrheoa, he then passed out on the toilet floor and slept for nearly 24 hours.
This allowed me, the master of seduction to defile and despoil his vulnerable spouse. As my friend slept I made passionate love, again and again to his panting lust filled wife.
She ruddy well loved it !

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One nil to Lord Dimblem !