They came from another planet.

I have always been a profound sceptic on the subject of alien life forms visiting earth. Call me an old humbug if you will but I have always been a cold hearted practical man who requires proof before I believe in "little green men from mars".

Or so I thought ?

Last night I was busy attending to urgent matters on the estate, so I ordered Giles my chaufer to take the rolls royce and drive my sweet new fiancee into Barnstaple in order for her to attend a pilates class. By midnight she had not returned. I was begining to become concerned. By one thirty there was still no sign of her or the chaufer. I was at my wits end.

What had become of them ! I jumped into my landrover and went in search of them.
Eventually I discovered my prized rolls royce parked down a remote country lane. The windows were steamed up.
I pulled open one of the doors and nervously peered in. My fiancee and the butler were both naked and in a state of drunken stupor. They jumped up quickly and seemed nervous and struggling for an explanation.
My dear sweet fiancee started to slur a tale so horrific and abhorrent that I was dumb founded. Apparently on the way home from the pilates class the rolls royce had mysteriously been teleported to the remote lane. Alien space men had then suddenly appeared and forced the pair of them to drink an intoxicating space juice which rendered them both insensible. The aliens then took their clothes away for chemical analysis and forced the pair of them to lay naked on top of each other as part of some wierd alien breeding experiment.

I was horrified. My poor little baby had been forced to endure a quite repellent ordeal. I took the dear creature home and comforted her. Alien abduction has come to sleepy Devon with a vengence. Despite my high regard for his gallent bravery, Giles the chaufer has sadly been sacked. Although he gamely tried to protect my fiancee from the space aliens I suspect he may have enjoyed the intimacy of the ordeal a little too much ! This may seem a little harsh and ungracious but I am an extremely jealous and suspicious guy when it comes to my pretty little loveykins.

No god damned alien or earth man is comming between my gal and me ! By god, no sir !

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One nil to Lord Dimblem !