How to shoot the hog of hogs.

The suidea as most people are aware is the rarest breed of wild pig left surviving in Asia. There are said to be less than 30 of the reclusive swine left in the wild. All of these reside in the remote region of Nang Tua in Papua New Guinea. It is illigal to hunt them and they are protected by law, anyone caught killing one is liable to a lenghthy prison term. The aboriginals of this primitive region consider them to be sacred and are fiercely protective of them !
I have always been a head strong and carefree spirit and I was determined to bag a shy and elusive suidea before they became extinct.
I ventured to Nang Tau and not wanting to upset the suspicious local tribesmen assumed the guise of being a butterfly collector in search of new specimens.
The suidea pigs live deep in the rain forest and in order to get a crack at one I had to venture alone into this dangerous steamy morass.
Finding a suitable spot by a small stream, I dug a shallow hole and covered myself with a camaflage lid. Only my rifle sticking out. I had a supply of food and water with me as I was expecting to be in the hole for up to 14 days. I catheterised myself and had a colostomy bag attatched to collect my faeces.
I lay down and waited for a suidea to appear.
As the days passed many animals wandered by, but no suidea pigs. A weaker man may have succomed to temptation and fired, not me I am made of firmer stuff ! After 16 days I was at my wits end, food and water had all run out and I was close to breaking point. Just as I was about to concede defeat and let my gun off at a passing hosia buck I glimpsed a suidea pig.
I fixed my quarry in my sights and pulled the trigger. The beast fell, a clean kill, shot between the eyes.
I returned to civilization with the skull of the pig in my rucksack. Nobody any the wiser of my criminal kill.
The skull now sits on the desk in my study as a paper weight, a constant reminder of this most weary hunting experience.