Skunk alert !

It has once again been brought to the public attention that there are skunks in the forest of Dean. There is believed to be a growing population of at least 100 mating pairs roaming this wooded idyll. These adorable creatures are the decendents of released pets which were given their freedom in the 1960s.
I accidently first came across these cunning little beggers when I went hunting for muntjack dear 20 years ago with a group of very dear friends.
My accursed third wife demanded she came too and I reluctantly allowed her to also come. The demented shrew had a profound cocaine addiction at the time which caused her to act both bizarrely paronoid and violently if angered.
As my friends and I went shooting my wife remained in my Land Rover snorting line after line of coke. As the hours passed she became more and more deranged and addled by the stimulants embibed. She got it into her cocaine befuddled brain that I was with another woman and not hunting with my dear pals.
Angered by my absense the jealous crazy woman came looking for me. She staggered through the woods screaming hysterical abuse at me. Sadly she fell over a deficating skunk which in fear released its vile pungent odour all over her. She howled like a maniac until I came running.
Embarrassingly I over powered and carried my insane catawalling wife back to the Land Rover. The smell was unbearable ! I almost passed out 3 times.
I drove us home and eventually had to sell the vehicle at a fraction of its value due to the terrible smell which could not be removed.
I had my wife interned in a mental hospital for a lengthy period where she underwent a rapid and painful cocaine detoxification. She emerged several weeks later sane and clear of her addiction. However she had discovered religion whilst being in the lunatic asylum and was now a devout Muslim !
That was the begining of even more torment and madness. But that is another story !

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One nil to Lord Dimblem !